I am a new member of a club that no one wants to belong to, though it is
rather exclusive. I’m a widow. Rather recent, too. I became a member of this exclusive club on May 9, 2011 at 7:18pm when my dear husband, Brian L. Hogan, lost his 4-1/2 year battle with non-Hodgkins’ follicular lymphoma at the age of 50, just 3 months short of turning 51. How I begged and pleaded with the Lord to not give me entrance into this club. But, alas, here I am.
This blog is meant to chronicle my new journey and to help others who are traveling this same road with me, grieving the loss of a spouse. I do not wish to minimize or trivialize the loss of other loved ones such as a child, sibling, parent, etc. Each of these has its own unique sorrow and pain. But the loss of a spouse, I’m finding, is very different from any other loss. To that end, that’s what this blog will be addressing. But I will do my best to not make it dreary or depressing. I will share with you my own personal pain, how that pain is manifesting itself, what lessons I’m learning, what personal and spiritual growth I’m realizing, failures, victories, questions, answers, answers to prayer, bewilderment, conversations with God, memories of my husband, our friendship, later courtship and brief marriage, his illness and the journey God took us on, our unrealized hopes and dreams, what the Almighty is accomplishing through it all, and how He is helping me to find ‘joy in the sorrow.’ I hope to give voice to what others may be experiencing but don’t know how to express, or may be uncomfortable expressing. I hope the Lord can use this blog to be an encouragement and a help to widows and widowers everywhere, and to any and all who are hurting.
Being a Christian, my views and insights may be different from yours because of Who and what my primary focus is – Jesus Christ and the Word of God. Without Christ and God’s Word as my anchors I’d be utterly lost, totally consumed by my grief, and completely void of the hope of being reunited with my dear husband one glad and glorious day! This was my Brian’s focus and hope, as well.